December 30, 2013

I KNOW HOW TO TRANSFORM.

Zero and I have decided to make some major changes to our lives beginning with the start of the new year. We're cutting out substances that do more harm to our bodies than is worth the temporary fun they provide, including alcohol and coffee, and we will not be indulging in those substances for the entirety of 2014. We're also only buying whole and minimally processed foods (like tofu and tempeh) for our home, and getting as much of our produce from the Farmer's Market that we can. We're not going to be strict about that one when we're traveling or out with friends, but it will be strict at home. The goal with this is not just to be better to our bodies and the environment but to experience something truly transformative. The harm of something like coffee and even alcohol for me has less to do with the stress they put on my body (though that is a real issue) and more to do with the way I become dependent upon them, the way they easily become habit and therefore are almost unconscious behaviors in my life. I want to be more conscious. I want to consciously form habits that will guide me toward my goals, and there will be more room for them when I eliminate the current habits I've had for years now, habits that don't seem to be helping me achieve anything but instead seem to encourage my lack of discipline.

I'm surprised by how excited we both are to do this for ourselves. If we felt we were giving up something precious, I imagine we'd be filled with hesitation and some dread. But we want to transform, and the only way to do that is to fully commit to real and lasting change. It's going to be so cool to experience something so different! I keep thinking about getting to the 6-month mark and wondering how different we'll feel, and then to keep going for another 6 months! It sounds amazing to me.

We did a similar experiment earlier this year for a month, and by the end of it, I felt so much stronger and healthier, but then we just went right back to our old ways. A year will allow the kind of transformation we really want to experience, and I'm really just so ready. It's going to be awesome. I can't know what we will choose to do once the year ends. Perhaps we will allow those things back into our lives, perhaps not. I'm not concerned with that now. I trust we will do what's best, and I'm excited to see what best becomes after a year of living differently.

It should go without saying, but I know I should say it since I am a great judge in life: I don't think that drinking alcohol or coffee or eating heavily processed foods are immoral behaviors. This is an extremely personal quest. My body has very specific needs, and I have very particular desires for my life, and that's why I'm doing this for myself. You do you, get down how you like.

I certainly went hard throughout my 20s, and I don't regret it. I had fun, and I was living as honestly as I could. But it was a tumultuous decade, to be sure. I struggled to make sense of my feelings, and I made so many mistakes. I am so fortunate to have such a strong support system of friends and family that stood by me throughout it all. And ultimately, I know that everything in my life until now has led me to this moment and to the person I have become and am becoming, and I can only be grateful, because I love who I am, and I am excited for my future. I feel smarter, wiser, more aware and more compassionate than ever before (except maybe when I was 8 years old- that was a real peak time). My passion has not waned, but it has shifted focus away from just my self and my personal relationships to the world around me and everyone in it. I care a lot, and I only want to care more.

I am so ecstatic to have Zero partner with me on this. When he commits to something, he commits one hundred percent, and he is a force of nature. His support throughout this will be invaluable. I'm as excited to see his transformation as I am to see my own, and I think it's beautiful that we're doing this together. 2014 is going to be an extreme challenge, and we're going to rise to it. It's time to level up.

4 comments:

  1. I finished reading this post and ended with Jenny Lewis' Rise Up With Fists in my head, but I'm not sure that's what you intended :) I'm glad you're excited about this plan! I need to quit soda again, but I'm not up to it right now. Maybe soon!

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    1. Thanks, Katie! I love that you thought of that song. :)

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  2. man, that's so cool. I have been thinking a lot about alcohol and it's general consumption haha. I've never been one to get stuck in habits though, ie I'm able to have the occasional coffee without every feeling like I even WANT one everyday. I'm the same with alcohol, but in more of a I-dont-like-what-it-does-to-my-body way. I find it hard to organise my thoughts when I'm sober, it's much worse when I'm drunk. But, I'm not ready to give it up altogether, I'm pretty good and knowing when to stop (with the occasional reminder..though they get less and less as I get older), and just love sipping on a G&T. I could see myself doing something like what you tried earlier, just a month to see how it goes.
    Anyway, I applaud you on making a decision for yourself (and your Zero), that makes you feel good and is beneficial for YOU! x

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    1. Thanks <3 Yeah, it's all about just listening to your body and knowing what you need. I haven't felt the need to do this until now, but now feels perfect. It's going to be a fun experiment!

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