Since Flickr is giving everyone tons of free space now, all of Zero's forgotten photos reappeared in his account, so we've been enjoying taking a look back at the year he had his Leica. He has an amazing eye, and I've missed getting to see how he sees me. So much sweetness comes with a photo taken by your one and only. He captures me in such candid moments, sometimes intimate and vulnerable, sometimes silly, but always comfy. I'm quite happy taking a million selfies, but when I look at these photos, I don't just see myself, I see Zero's perspective of me, and I see the love and trust we share.
I also see that I really need to invest in cute underwear again!
Earlier today, I was thinking about how many times I've changed in fundamental ways throughout my life. Thinking about this made me really happy, because I care to grow, and I want to learn, but also because I've often been kind of a turd about things. So many times, I've learned that my opinion about something was totally bogus and hurtful, and I've had to admit that I was wrong. Sometimes I've dwelt on the guilty feeling, especially when I think about my selfish, destructive past behavior in interpersonal relationships. Other times, I've been able to focus on my excitement about the subsequent change, like I do about becoming outspoken for animal rights. But regardless of how painful the growing pains are and how easy or difficult it is to let go of my previous self, I'm still ultimately happy to be growing.
I've had this blog for four years now, and I haven't updated it in two months. I've been spending more time on tumblr, reblogging funny gifs, sharing thoughts on veganism, and of course, posting photos of my face, cats, and husband. Some things never change, derp. I also recently started collaborating on a project with my crew called Super Kingdom. I joked about calling it Super Queendom, because fuck the patriarchy, but a queen can be a king, and science classifies things into kingdoms, so I can roll with it. Anyway, we focus on animal rights and sentience as it intersects with environmentalism, human rights, and nutrition. I'm really into it. I've been sharing similar info on my personal tumblr for a while now, but that place can be a bit of a free for all, and it's really awesome to have a focused project and even more awesome to be creating it with people I love who share my passion for these important issues. Plus the tumblr community reminds me more of livejournal, that golden relic of internet sharing past, which draws me in so much more than blogger ever could. I'm sure I'll continue to occasionally post here, though, which I even still do on livejournal.
Zero and I are staying in the same place for another year- outrageous! I'm really glad we broke the streak of moving at least once a year since 2008. I feel relieved to not have to deal with all that stress. Our little home here is so comfy, and it's slowly getting comfier. We finally got a kitchen table and chairs. Only took us a year! But the one we got is so perfect, it must have been destiny for us to wait. We haven't been able to rebuild the world around us as quickly as I'd hoped, so it's nice to see it finally start coming together. I'm super sensitive to my environment, and it hasn't been fun to feel that mine has been such a poor representation of my imagination for so long. I'm glad to see that finally changing, too.
If you had told me this morning that today I would watch an interview from Donahue with Lisa Bonet, Raul Julia, and River Phoenix talking about environmentalism, nutrition, and the myriad damaging effects of a meat and dairy obsessed world, I would never have believed you. But here it is:
You can watch the entire thing, and I urge you to do so. John Robbins later joins them, and his name is one I've seen many times when reading about veganism, but I never knew that he was once heir to the Baskin-Robbins corporation and chose to walk away from that once he realized it was a company doing more harm than good. It's so beautiful and inspiring to listen to these humans talk with such passion about taking responsibility for our choices and recognizing the impact each one of us has not only on our own health and our family's health, but on the health of the entire human population and the planet itself.
It's wild to think that this aired over 20 years ago and depressing to think that perhaps our culture has grown even more shallow and superficial since then. It's almost as though, as things started becoming exponentially worse and we became more aware of it, we dug our heads even deeper into the sand to avoid having to confront it. Of course, I'm not completely cynical, and I believe that simultaneously, humans are becoming even more involved and more informed. We seem to be on the line now, between the world of Idiocracy and a world of caring, education, and reform.
I focus on veganism, primarily because the philosophy of nonviolence and compassion is one I feel is in our best interest if we want to continue to evolve, but also because I know that the meat and dairy industries are completely destroying our planet, and people are very unwilling to change their diets, even more so than they seem willing to change how they travel or how much water they use, so I want to be an advocate for that change. I also, of course, believe other species have just as much of a right to live their lives as our species does, but it's worth noting that the issue of animal rights never comes up in the Donahue (who by the way is surprisingly hilarious and perceptive) discussion. You can still be completely anthropocentric and recognize the disaster that is our culture's dependency on animal products.
I'm always so happy and almost relieved to come across things like this, because it reminds me of what's truly important. It's easy to get caught up in all the distractions of modern life and easier still to give in to the desire to escape the responsibility we each have on a daily basis to do whatever we can to heal our world, because it's truly overwhelming and daunting. It's easy to feel like what you do doesn't really matter, but of course it does matter. And there are things all of us can do. We can't let any guilt we might feel for not doing everything right serve as an excuse to not even try. I have days where I just want to watch something funny and forget about anything serious and challenging. It helps me to be reminded that there are other people who care and are willing to put themselves out there to try and influence positive change. I feel inspired to try harder and challenge myself, because I know I'm not alone. In fact, I am in the company of total babes!
Thanks to Justin for finding this and sharing it with me!
I just realized that it's been a year since Alita and Ayanami came into my life. My little precious baby girls. Remember how tiny they were? Oh my god.
Too much? Never. They were the cutest creatures ever. And they've grown into beautiful queens.
Besides growing a bit bigger and chilling out only slightly, they really have stayed very much the same as they were when I first brought them home. They're both still so sweet and affectionate with me and Zero and with each other. Lita is still very light and agile and gentle when she plays, with the tiniest voice and the deepest purr. Nami is still immediately friendly with strangers, with one of the loudest voices in a cat I've ever heard, even singing when she purrs.
I feel truly honored to be loved by two such beautiful souls. They are really the cat companions of my dreams. They hang out with me in whatever room I'm in, even sitting on the ledge of the tub when I take a bath. They're always at the door when I come home. Alita will actually be standing on her hind legs with her paws on the door. There's just no doubt that they really really like me and Zero, and living with two cats who like us so much is such an awesome joy. I'm so happy to have the constant occasion to just gaze at another living being and bask in her existence, simultaneously the same as and different from my own, so unique and real and precious. I'm so happy they're here.
I hope the four of us are together for a long, long time.
